How to end an Abusive Relationship

Domestic violence is becoming very common these days. Every day, women bear the brunt of their husbands beating or abuses. However, we do not tend to realize it as we consider it as a part and parcel of life. Usually, a friend or a relative who is not a member of our family, notices the signs of abusive relationship in ours. And we do not realize it until they tell us ‘why do you allow yourself to be treated so badly?

Then only we realize the extremity of the abuses that we have been bearing all this while. Yet we fear to make a decision of our own. We fear from the very thought of leaving an abusive relationship. Even if we finally decide to leave, we fear of getting caught while trying to escape.

It is very easy for people to say, why doesn’t she leave for good? What is it that is holding her back to bear such humiliation? But they barely realize the barriers that stop these women to leave which could be financial, emotional and psychological. These women, who have been going through the abuses, need to be encouraged to muster up their courage to take the extreme step for their well being.

However, once you have made up your mind to leave the liaison, do not hold back your intentions, for you do not deserve to be abused for no fault of yours. Make a proper plan before you leave. And keep the following things in mind while planning your strategy:

1) Make a financial plan, for once you leave you will have to face all the hardships and to survive, you will need money. Save every cent that you probably can and hide it, where your abusive spouse will not have access to it.

2) If you plan to sneak out in your spouse’s absence, then be prepared and make a full proof plan.

3) Arrange a place where your children could find themselves safe. Convince them that it is their safety which is important and not to save you.

4) Confide in one of your friends about your plans, who might help you to get away from the abusive relationship, but do not turn to relative or mutual friends.

5) Carry only those things which are of prime importance and which would be useful.

6) Have a bag packed with some of your clothes and your children’s and keep it in one of your most trusted friend’s house to carry it with you.

7) Also do not forget to carry along important documents such as your driving license, passport, ID cards, credit cards, bank cheque books, legal documents of your children as well.

8) Most important of all, do not forget to take the phone numbers of your close friends, relatives, family doctor, schools etc.

Once you cope up with the fear and get out of it, you are on your way to a new lease of life, a step towards your freedom.

Leaving an abusive person is far much healthier than living with them. When you have all the ways and reasons to leave and start your life afresh, why surrender to the jaws of death, when you still want to live.