Every teenager is eager to fall in love and have a boyfriend/girlfriend. But little do they realize that unhealthy relationships set in early in our life and last a lifetime. Dating abuse is characterized by physical, sexual, or psychological/emotional abuse that takes place in a relationship.
Among the teens, physical and sexual abuse is very common. As far as sexual abuse is concerned, most teens consider to ignore it, as they feel that sex is a part and parcel of dating. And media is to be blamed for this, as they hyper sexualize the teenagers, thus, encouraging sexual violence against women and girls. The media has a strong influence over the teens and makes them believe that it is perfectly normal. However parents should not assume that the teens know the difference between dating and sex.
But when it comes to physical abuse which includes hitting, kicking, pinching or hurting, they do not know how to respond or react to it. It has been reported that each year, 1 in every 5 adolescents are sexually, physically or emotionally abused.
Dating abuse normally starts with calling names and teasing, and is often considered to be a part of a healthy relationship, which might lead to physical abuse. The teens do not usually report about it because they fear from sharing it with their friends and families. There maybe other reasons such as they do not have appropriate experience in dating relationships or want independence from their parents or may be, they have romanticized views of love or because of peer pressure to have dating relationships.
Teen dating abuse is highly influenced by how teenagers consider themselves and others. Boys believe that they must control their girlfriends and possess them. They feel that their masculinity gives them a reason to be aggressive. They feel that their girl would not respect them if they are attentive and supportive.
While young girls, on the other hand, find abuse as a normal behavior, as they see even their friends being abused. They romanticize their boyfriends’ jealousy, possessiveness and even physical abuse. They consider themselves helpless and responsible to solve all the problems in their relationships. Teen dating is not really an innocent phase of life. And it is very normal for the teens to keep their problems away from their parents for they fear that their parents may demand separation.
Sometimes, serious relationship in dating can turn out to be a nightmare. So, before getting into any serious relationship, a must do task is to ask yourself a series of questions about your dreams, desires, goals, friends, pets, your responsibility, etc. Probe as much as you can about the person you want to date, his/her behavior, attitudes, etc. Do not flaunt or boss around your friends, if your boyfriend has gifted you a cellphone or has been telling you what to do and what not. You might misinterpret it that he is very concerned about you and that he cares for you and wants to be in touch with you. For that sort of behavior of your boyfriend is a sure sign of aggressiveness, manipulative and dominating.
The number of girls being abused and controlled by their boyfriends is scaringly high. As a parent, we must not ignore the warning signs and keep an eye on the activity of our daughters. If you see such signs in your daughter’s behavior, then talk to her calmly. Don’t go about attacking your daughter’s boyfriend with words and calling him names. Let your daughter know that love is not a feeling but a behavior. And that it is not what he says, he feels for you but what he shows through his behavior. And let her decide on whether she considers such a behavior of her boyfriend loving and caring.
