The commonest thing that we get to hear about, in a relationship, is domestic violence. In some, this goes to the extent of the husband abusing and humiliating the wife in front of the society. And the wife, instead of revolting against it, continues to bear the brunt without a sigh, which further encourages the male ego, who in turn continues to inflict the violence on a regular basis, which is one reason, why women complain.

But why do women always bear it? Why don’t they revolt against the violence? In spite of all the abuse and humiliation, why do women continue to stay in the relationship?

My helper, who is a mother of two children, is often subjected to violence by her husband. He abuses her, beats her up, but she goes on bearing it quietly. When asked why she is bearing it, the only answer she had was, it is her husband’s right to beat her up.

We could have ignored it considering that it is the case of a woman who belongs to a lower stratum and is uneducated. But what about those women who are educated and working? Even they are subjected to abusive violence. Despite of knowing the laws and rights of women, why don’t they revolt against it?

Women continue to stay in the relationship probably because she is bound by the rules of the society. Women are always identified through the identity of their husbands. From the day we were born, till today, our psychology has been conditioned in such away that in spite of being educated, we search our identity in our husband’s identity. And probably there is a feeling lurking deep inside our consciousness that we belong to our husband and they have every right on us.

There are several other reasons as to why women stay in such a relationship. One reason is fear. There are women who continue to bear the burden of abusive relationship for the fear of losing the security of her children which may result to single parenting, for fear of financial constraints and for fear of losing her reputation.

One major fear that lurks in the heart of most women is the loss of emotional and psychological dependence, a major cause of depression, which to a large extend forbids them from walking out of a relationship. Secondly, women who have been in an abusive relationship have low self esteem, probably because all through the years that have gone by, she has been victimized.

And to top it all, making a decision of leaving your life partner is never easy. Women have a high level of tolerance but when it comes to the courage and strength of leaving someone for good; it is very difficult to muster that courage. A woman is bound by social, cultural and family values, which further leads to complexes in taking the decision.

Abusive relationship is also often the cause of divorce which has become a sort of an epidemic, which I feel is not the solution to it. As it will only increase men to ill treat women to force them out of their lives.

All that we can do is to encourage her to believe in herself and stand by her in whatever decision she takes.